7.20.2009

A Revolutionary Idea to Solve Every Problem. Ever.

Let's bring back personal responsibility. Seriously. No more taxing the rich to support the poor. No more stealing from the healthy to take care of the sick. No more robbing the smart to bail out the incredibly moronic. Nothing against the poor, sick, or moronic (well, maybe a little against the morons), but I've had it with people relying on others to fix their problems for them. The government is not your safety net. Discrimination on the basis of income, health, or intelligence is still discrimination. What did all the smart, successful, healthy people do to deserve this general disdain from the majority of the world? They're supposed to bankroll the entire country because they worked hard and stayed fit? DOESN'T ANYBODY REALIZE HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SOUNDS?

You know what is not helping, but nobody seems to realize? Explaining the problems with society that are causing all these crises with broad, meaningless buzzwords. Everyone feels like an expert because they realize that our society is obsessed with instant gratification or some other social-ill. Guess what! Society, as it turns out, is made up of people! Could it possibly be that it's problems with people that are making things so difficult?

So maybe if we put people's fates back in their own hands, they'll take care of themselves. And maybe, when everyone concerns themselves with securing their own future, we'll all discover that it's a hell of a lot cheaper and easier to look out for #1 first. And that's NOT SELFISH. IT'S RESPONSIBLE. Selfish is watching TV and eating take-out while your gastric bypass and utility bills are paid for by the guy who studied his ass of in college to earn a comfortable living.
Now for the requisite bullet-point list that explains how to fix EVERYTHING. EVER.

Health Care: Get rid of insurance. Seriously! No, I'm seriously not joking around. Just get rid of it completely. No government-sponsored plan. No private insurance. No nothing. Just watch how fast people start taking better care of themselves when it becomes way cheaper to do so. It'll happen. And you know what? You don't even have to forcibly get rid of it. Just stop giving it away. There's this not-so-secret secret that a small number of people have caught on to: You don't have to pay a lot of money for health insurance if you stay healthy. Sure, it may be required for drastic, unforseeable health crises, but you would be amazed how fast people will clean up their act when it becomes financially neccessary.

Retirement, Social Security: Get rid of it. Completely. Scrap the whole system when it runs out of money, which is going to happen soon. Stop supporting people who refused to support themselves when they were younger. Stop it! Seriously, knock it off! What if everybody put all of the money that was being taken from them to give to other people into a savings account, or invested it intelligently. You know what would happen? People would have a lot more money. Like, seriously, a lot more. And the economy would be in better shape. And people would have a reason to work hard and not waste their money and ensure that they have a secure future. They would be supporting themselves first, and you know what would happen then? They would help out the little guy. They really would! They would volunteer, or donate, or something. They really, honestly would, because it feels good to take care of people who are struggling. And you know what would happen then? Those people who got help would help others in return. You'd have the same system in place as right now, except it would be voluntary. Oh, and people would be wealthier. And happier. And just generally better human beings.

Education: Eliminate public education. Dump it in the river. Starting to see a pattern? You should be. People heard about these school vouchers, or the No Child Left Behind program, or anything that threatened to take money away from schools, and they FLIPPED. They went absolutely berserk, because the idea that schools should be held to certain standards or face legitimate consequences seemed downright evil. But as it turns out, without any motivation to provide a quality service, businesses grow stagnant. They have no reason to do a good job, because they're not invested in the product they create. Well, this time the product is CHILDREN. And our schools are, at times, shipping out some pretty crappy children. There are tons of people to blame for this one. The black-hearted monopoly that is the Teacher's Union, spineless administrators, uninvolved parents. SO LET'S START BLAMING THEM! Huh? That's mean? That's responsible! If a company sold cars that burst into flames at the 1,300 mile mark, would you want to pay to support it? What? You would? You seriously read this far and your answer is yes? Wow. Well, for those of you who wouldn't want to bankroll a company provide a crappy product, you guys yank your funding. Give your hard-earned (hopefully) dollars to the company one town over that builds cars with good gas-mileage, high safety ratings, plenty of horsepower, and a sweet voice-activated navigation system. Then watch when another company takes up the spot left over by the now-defunct explosive car manufacturer and starts charging 15% less for the same quality product. Now guess who's driving the continual improvment of goods and services? Can you guess? Yep, it's you! Congratulations! The only problem with this one is that yanking your funding will get you locked up for tax-evasion. That sound right to you? I didn't think so. Why don't you tell your kid's principal so, or maybe your state representative, or hell, how about your next-door neighbor? Start making trouble for the people who are making trouble.

OK, so that's not really every problem ever. But you can extrapolate. It's not a complicated idea, and if you read this far, I'm sure you're capable. People will say, as they always do: "It's just not that simple." And while I will admit these examples are drastic, they all play off of the idea that people who are forced to rely on nobody but themselves will invariably do so or face the consequences. So let's take the ball out of society's court, and put it back into yours and mine. Society had it's shot, and apparently it couldn't handle it. Maybe you and I can, on our own, for once.