Fuck This Shit

There is something wrong with a rule system that awards 15 yards and an automatic first down to a team when their punter pretends to get tripped up by another player, even when another look clearly proves nothing actually happened. This is exactly what happened in the Badgers' bowl game. Florida State's punter gets away a clean punt under pressure, and the Badger player dives for the ball, passes right underneath the guy's leg with a couple of feet of clearance, and slides by without ever touching the punter. Because the punter kicks up his other leg and falls on his back, though, the referees throw the flag and call the penalty without ever seeing a replay! For a possession-changing, potentially game-changing play like that, why can we not consult a replay to make sure the correct call is made? 

There's always the chant that you just have to let the kids play, don't get bogged down in all the replays making sure calls are correct and whatever. You know what? That is fucking bullshit. Completely ridiculous, idiotic bullshit. There is a reason those rules are in place! You don't just throw a flag when something looks suspicious, you throw it when there is clear evidence that a penalty occurred!

The mantra for football seems to be that the referees are the ones who decide when a penalty has occurred, while the replays are just there to show really big hits and cool catches, and occasionally fix a really close call. But what about a blatantly obvious call that is completely fucked up because some kid is clever enough to make it look like he got taken out at the knee. It's completely ridiculous, and it's completely inexcusable. Personally, I think the most important thing for the referees and cameras to do is make sure that the game is decided by the players on the field, and not the jackasses wearing pinstripes carrying yellow handkerchiefs. 

Now I can't say with certainty that if that call had been made correctly, it would have changed the outcome of the game. The Badgers were flat out bad this year. But I'm fairly certain that we wouldn't have been embarassed the way we were. People who watched the game know, and should admit (I'm talking to you Florida St. fans!) that the final score, and even the halftime score, didn't really reflect how close the game had been.

Two things need to be fixed:

1. The replay/review system, including what can be replayed/reviewed, and the basis for making posession-changing calls in any situation. This includes a decreased reliance on field-side officials, and increased reliance on recorded, reviewable game footage, which doesn't lie, doesn't make decisions without any confirmed evidence, and just flat out doesn't fuck shit up!
2. Badger Football. The time has come for classic Wisconsin smash-mouth football to get updated. First thing? Recruit some fucking skill players, first and foremost a quarterback who can take advantage of situations where teams stack 9 guys in the tackle box and give you single coverage in 3 reciever sets. Our running game is so fucking good most years, we can't continue to squander it by not seizing the opportunities it affords us in the air!

The Scraping!

There is no way the things they do to your mouth in a dentist's office are healthy. How can scraping and gouging teeth with a sharpened curved steel hook of death promote oral health? This is certainly one of the greatest conspiracies of our age. 

Introductory Biology

I am so glad to be done with the Introductory Biology 151-152 sequence. They were the WORST classes I have taken so far by a long shot. Poorly organized, poorly run, poorly graded, poorly defined, just all around bullshit classes. I wish I could get a copy of the class evaluations we had to fill out. I tore those things apart. I hated those classes so much. Thank God they're over.

1.5 Done

First semester done, I'm now sitting alone in my apartment while my parents go to the Basketball game vs. Coppin St. (who suck, btw.) It's nice to be done, and I'm looking forward to going home for a while and seeing my friends for the first time in months. 

After that, Mexico.

Hehehehe...

Mandark

After watching 5 minutes of the Polar Express on TV, I have learned four things:

1. I hate the Polar Express

2. I want to strangle the kid with the Mandark voice.

3. The true meaning of the spirit of the ultimate message of the beauty of the Jesus of Christmas lies in my heart (whatever the fuck that means).

4. Tom Hanks is lights-out with a hole-punch.

Stereotype

I am sure this stereotype doesn't even remotely hold true, but here is something I have observed over the last couple of weeks.

Stenographers who aid hearing-impaired college students are rude, creepy, and just generally disagreeable. Again, I am basing this of very few actual observations, namely just the two who transcribe lectures and discussions for a girl in my Philosophy class. They routinely snap at anyone who comes anywhere near their stuff, expecting us to haphazardly knock over and destroy everything. They constantly complain about the lack of left-handed desks in the room (apparently these are easier to use?). They stare at the person talking with an evil gaze, which evidently makes it easier to write what they are saying.

Maybe they just lead miserable lives because of the burden placed upon them by their ability to type 225 words per minute (the speed required by the American National Court Reporters Association). I don't doubt it is a stressful job. Maybe ill-tempered people are just drawn to the position because of the impersonality of the position. I don't know. All I'm saying is that in my experience, these people are to be avoided when they've got their stenotype in front of them.

Again, I'm sure this stereotype is completely unfounded. But just from my experience, they're scum. Filthy, worthless, scum.

Wall of Sound

Wall of Sound is a technique used by music producers to create a dense, layered, and reverberant sound. It was developed by record producer Phil Spector during the 1960's.

It is awesome.

Whenever me and anybody else try to get together to record something, I always end up coming back to this "wall of sound" idea. I've always been a fan of music that just seems to fill the room. Intricate solos, meaningful lyrics, I always feel like that stuff is secondary to making music that you can almost get lost in. That's probably why I like really full, layered, almost repetitive songs with clear melodies being played by multiple instruments at once. Effects like distortion, reverb, and delay can also add a lot of texture and kind of meld everything together (or they can totally destroy it if they are used poorly). If everything is constructed right, there is no sound I would rather hear.

All that being said, I think the song "Take A Picture" by Filter pulls it off really well. From my experience, people either really like the song, or they hate it. But if you want to hear a legitimate wall of sound, check it out.

I thought about that song because I just watched "The Girl Next Door." Incidentally, I would do absolutely anything for Elisha Cuthbert. She is the most perfect human being ever created.

Even if she is Canadian.

Noteworthy

Does anybody else realize it is very possible that for a second consecutive year, a sophomore will win the Heisman trophy? I say this because I feel that Sam Bradford deserves it more than anyone else. He leads the nation in touchdown passes, is second in passer rating, third in total yards, and has only 6 interceptions on the year. The kid is insane. He should get the Heisman. Tebow definitely should not get it again.

All this being said, Texas should still be guaranteed a spot in the national title game after getting through the schedule they had with the record they have. It is obscene. The BCS sucks. Everyone knows it, but nothing happens. Something has to give eventually.

Epic Win

The internets strike again.

MadHatters Fall Show '08

I can't even begin to describe this weekend. The Hatters shows were phenomenal. Grace & Julian were phenomenal. The after-party was phenomenal. It was definitely one of the best weekends of my life.

I've got a couple of videos from the shows that I'll probably stick up on YouTube eventually. Made good use of my new camcorder.

I was really glad that Kevin, Clay, Meredith, and Emily made it to the show and the after party. It was a lot of fun seeing them again, and seeing Meredith for only the second time or so. Probably the funniest part was when Logan, Kevin, and I (along with a bunch of other people) did a shot together, and Kevin and I both commented on how we never expected to find ourselves in that situation so soon. It was awesome. I also know Kallie and Schulz stopped by for at least a couple minutes, but I don't remember interacting with them at all really, other than when I flashed my Madhatters all-access pass at the door to get them in, which I thought was totally hardcore rockstar.

Like I said, I can't begin to tell everything that happened. So I'll just say it was absolutely awesome. Now the Hatters are going to have dinner at Tutto's and exchange epic stories from the weekend. It promises to be a good time.

Can't wait until Thanksgiving. Fuck bio lab for making so much shit due so soon after we get back. I hate that lab more than anything else in all of existence, past, present, and future.

Except for that egg song.

Today...

...IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!111!!!11!!!11!1ONE!!11ELEVEN!!

My World-Changing Idea

So I got this gadget called the Flip Video Mino. It's a miniature camcorder that is about the size of a smartphone. The ease of use and portability gave me an idea for a YouTube video series that I think would be pretty cool. Here's the basic idea:

The working title is "What and Why," but that will certainly have to be updated to something more notable. It's a video between 1 and 2 minutes long (still have to decide, I need a good balance between content and accessibility) featuring a single person, and can be filmed anywhere. The person in the video presents some topic, explains a little bit about what it is, and why the person watching the video should learn about it. They can use whatever method they want to explain it, but spontaneity and informality are encouraged. The topics shouldn't be too broad. The example I had in mind when I came up with the idea was 8 tonal music, something one of the guys in Hatters is really pumped about all the time.

Anyway, I'm gonna mess around with an introductory video that I'll stick out in the tubes. We'll see where it goes from there.

In reference

Remember the kid that I was talking about before? The one who always bragged about reading the whole biology book every night? Yeah, totally owned his ass on the exam. Again. Q.E.D.

Schedule

I can finally relax. My schedule is set. It isn't too bad. Never have class before 9:55. I've got an annoying Immunology lecture at 4:35 on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, but at least that class should be cool.

GAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

I loathe my Biology lab with a passion reserved for mass-murderers, backstabbers, and that fucking egg song that Simmons keeps playing.

You see, there are a LOT of really cute girls in my Biology class. ZERO PERCENT of them are enrolled in the same discussion/lab section as me. What are the odds of that? It drives me nuts. Not only this, but the people that SHOULD be attractive girls are instead awkward, socially lost, think-they're-smarter-than-they-really-are little kids. The kind of kids with anime girls in giant space robo-suit desktop backgrounds on their computers. The kind of kids who actually BRAG about having read the entire chapter prior to each lecture and then do anywhere between 10-25% worse on the exam than you. The kind of kids that bring about exchanges like this:

T.A.: What variables do we want to test in our hypothetical, scholarly-journal-based imaginary experiment?

Kid: Well, we should do all this stuff that might be important if we were conducting an experiment sponsored by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency on which the lives of all Americans depended, but is really completely beyond our means, and largely unnecessary for the actual purpose of the experiment we are doing.

T.A.: Um, well, that's not really important in this case. We would rather test the things that emphasize the skills we are aiming to teach you in this experiment...

Kid: BUT WE TALKED ABOUT THOSE THINGS IN LECTURE! I READ ALL ABOUT THEM IN THE TEXTBOOK! I ADDED THEM TO MY NOTECARD THAT I NEVER USE BUT MAKE FOR STUDY PURPOSES ANYWAY! I COULD HAVE SPENT THAT TIME TROLLING FOR LULZ ON TEH FORUMS!

Now, I don't really enjoy doing work in bio lab. In fact, I do my best to avoid work in most any form at all while at lab. However, this is contingent on the fact that the work required in lab is the most mind-numbing, skull-crushing, non-scientific crap you can imagine. Most of the time it feels like I am in a 4th grade English class rather than a collegiate biology course. I understand that we are supposed to be learning how to "communicate" science, but if I have to write another bullshit lab synopsis on a lab I never actually performed, I'm gonna flip. I promise you, high and mighty lab coordinator, I feel fully competent at recognizing, analyzing, and incorporating scholarly resources into other people's research. STOP MAKING ME DO IT. LET ME MUTATE SOME PLANTS. ANYTHING BUT ANOTHER DATABASE EXERCISE.

(RULE 39: CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL)

Of course, though, when we finally do actually do science, everybody starts complaining about the amount of work involved. JUST FUCKING DO IT. IT'S NOT THAT HARD. Be happy you're not just formatting sources and refining search parameters. Stop ignoring scientific stuff that is actually interesting because you want to go home and look for furries on the interwebs.

(Rule 35: If it exits, there is furry porn of it)

New Conspiracy Theory

The U.S. Department of State is definitely in league with the printer ink cartridge industry. I just printed out a passport application, and almost every section is highlighted with a yellow background! I'm no expert, but I think the color that provides the most contrast with black is...white! The color of regular, unadulterated paper! What a huge waste of ink. Sounds like a government operation to me...

Encyclopedia Dramatica

FTW

Magnetic Circuit Monkey

I feel completely burned out. I spent about 6 hours today working on my research paper, which in my case is essentially due an entire week before it is actually due, if that makes any sense. I need to go home and eat real food and unwind and get away from this city and this university for a day or two. I'm exhausted. I want to go snowboarding in Colorado. I want to take a break. I need a break.

Total

I remembered what it was that made me shake my head in at least slight disgust in my Bio class last week. The girl in front of me had up her dysfunctional Mac calendar gadget thing, and she was adding an event which was marked as important. It was an episode of Project Runway. I thought that was a little sad. And don't yell at me for looking at her computer screen. Everyone does it, even you, and you know it.

Fuck Bio Lab and its damn research paper. Fuck all the people I emailed about doing a research project instead who never got back to me. Fuck clogged toilets.

Obama cancelled his appearance in Madison. I guess the Republicans aren't the only ones "giving up" on Wisconsin.

Flu Shot

Flu shot gave me the flu, which is apparently supposed to happen, but sucks regardless. I had to skip the Hatters show and I have been popping pills all day, but at least the Packers owned the Colts.

Resurrection

Man, this thing lasted even less time than I first expected. I mean, I figured it would die off eventually, or at least get update very infrequently, but it really just didn't last.

BUT, after finding my thoughts drifting in both my biology and philosophy lectures, I realized how often I think about things that I want to write down and remember later. So I figure from this point on, this blog will be a lot less formal than it was. Which may or may not be saying anything.

I got my foot frozen today. It still hurts.

Congrats to Ziggy for getting the newest Madhatter's solo, "Everything," by Michael Bublé

Grifball

1-0, Evaluation

Wisconsin 38, Akron 17

Season football tickets: $143. Lemonade/water bottle: $3.50. Watching Bucky tackle a model of the new Ogg: priceless

I love football Saturdays. The neighborhood I am living in is completely packed with people on gameday, and everyone has only one thing in mind: destroying whatever team is foolish enough to wander into Camp Randall Stadium. Plus, a bunch of my friends who have tickets live right around me, so we can get together before and after the game.

As for the game itself, here are my grades for the team:

Rushing Offense: A
I don't care if we we're playing Akron or Georgia, this game showed everyone that our running game is gonna be tough to stop. P.J. Hill racked up 200+ yards before anybody realized he was even close, and both of our backups nearly rattled off 100 yard games as well. 3rd down conversions were handled effectively, and the ground game put together some impressive long drives, complete with plenty of big plays. The turnovers were disconcerting, but that will certainly improve over the season. The offensive line looked solid, creating holes and getting good blocks downfield.

Passing Offense: B
Overall, I was fairly pleased with Allen Evridge. He made some questionable decisions, but backed them up with well placed throws for the most part. The interception was certainly unfortunate, but it was just a simple case of throwing inside his receiver in end-zone coverage, and you can be sure he will get a talking-to for it. Overall, Evridge was efficient, but we'll see how he does in a game where we actually need to throw. It was difficult to judge the performance of our receivers in this game, as most of our passing plays came on wide open routes. However, there were some highlight-reel catches by Garrett Graham and Kyle Jefferson.

Rushing Defense: AB
The Zips were held to 70 yards rushing the entire game, and none of those came on long explosive runs. The defensive line refused to give the entire game, and missed tackles were generally minimal. It is a little scary when you see Safeties having to step up into the box and make rushing tackles, but at least they're making the tackles. The defense seemed to have trouble handling rushers trying to turn the corner, which is something that definitely needs to be brushed up on. You can't focus solely on stopping runs up the middle when so many teams have backs fast enough to run around your line.

Passing Defense: C
Wisconsin is lucky that Akron's passing offense was running like a 3-legged spider in space, because coverage was lax across the board. Receivers were often wide open in single coverage, with big gains or scores failing to materialize only because of off-target throws and dropped catches. Luckily, most of Akron's receivers were wrapped up quickly after the catch, but coverage will have to be tighter when we face a quarterback who can put the ball in a receiver's hands anywhere on the field. The pass rush was certainly better than the secondary, with a respectable number of sacks and generally decent pressure throughout the game, especially in the second half. There are lots of times where I would like to see more aggressive pass rush play-calling from the Badgers, but good coverage is a prerequisite for that.

Special Teams: B
Special Teams were all over the board today. While Gilreath did have a couple of very impressive returns and was overall pretty strong, he made a few poor decisions that could have been disasterous. More important, though, is that he was required to make those decisions at all. Blocking on returns was not very good. Gilreath was constantly pressured while making the catch. Kicking was pretty satisfactory, especially the flawless placekicking. Punts and kickoffs were generally good, with only a few mistakes, most notably a very poor kickoff which was likely caused by the holder who was out because of the wind. Field position being as important as it is, it's important not to give up easy ground like that.

Overall Grade: AB
Hey, we did win 38-17, didn't we? Regardless of the problems that showed up, the Badgers clearly showed that they are a formidible team. Now let's just hope they continue it against a team that somebody knows.

The Sink Has Landed

I'm in, along with Jeff, Andy, and Nate. I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor because I don't have a bed frame yet, but I'm in. And it is glorious. We have so much silverware and so much tupperware. Nothing wrong with that though, I suppose. I'm pumped for this year. Gotta go pick up my football ticket voucher tomorrow, as well as change my Associated Bank address once again. Other than that, this week is pretty much the most summer vacation I've had all year. I'll have to get books and stuff, but I've actually got most of that stuff already. Mostly I'll just enjoy apartment life before the hectic year begins. Peace.

Almost there...

Only 2 more days of work left, and even those are just short mornings. Then it's back to Madison and my apartment which still has no beds. Awesome. If JSM doesn't take care of that soon, I'm gonna raise hell, and better get some damn money out of it.

I'm fairly pleased with the new Rilo Kiley CD. Most of their past albums have been very "take it or leave it" for me. After one listen, I'm liking this new one a little more.

RIP LeRoi Moore

LeRoi Moore, saxophonist and founding member of the Dave Matthews Band, died Tuesday afternoon. This guy was a phenomenal musician, flat out. He will be missed by many, many fans.

The Fishin' Magician, As Well As Continued Weekend Elaborations

I have been up for 19 hours. Why? Because charter fishing on Lake Michigan is solid as fuck. I woke up at quarter after 2 in the morning, got out on the lake by quarter after four, and had landed a 10 or 12 pound King Salmon by 4:45. That is how you start a morning out right. The fishing continued pretty good for about 3 hours more, before it pretty much died at around 8:30. It was a really fun trip, especially since we ended up with 10 fish, one of which was a very nice 12-14 pounder, landed by my 12 year old cousin.

We finally figured out what kind of cable/internet service we want, and have a vague idea of who is going to bring what to the apartment, so I guess we're making progress. Now we just have to take care of the 6 (at least) things that are going to require maintenance requests.

Move-In Weekend, In a Nutshell

It was really dirty. Then they vacuumed, so it wasn't quite as dirty. We cleaned some stuff. It takes 2 minutes to reach B-Rent's place. I'm really tired. More to follow.

Preposterous Amounts of Illegality

Right now I am downloading no less than 5 different albums, the majority by an excellent hip-hop duo I have only recently been introduced to: Atmosphere.

I was happy to see that Dark Knight smashed the record for least time to reach 400 million dollars in box office earnings. Hopefully this is a sign that Titanic's record 600 million in sales is about to fall, because I feel that the Dark Knight is a superior movie in most every sense. Titanic is fantastic as well, but as I see it, Dark Knight is almost more impressive for being fictional while maintaining a very real sense of urgency, one that could only be rivaled by being trapped on a sinking ocean liner in the Atlantic Ocean. The fact that The Dark Knight has already made so much also says something else about its earning power, because Titanic's earnings were inflated by all the boyfriends who were dragged out to see it. I have a strong feeling that it is easier for girls to drag guys to movies than vice versa. After all, movie theaters aren't good solely for seeing movies. And of course, there was that one scene that probably enticed more than a few lonely guys to buy a ticket...or twelve.

I've got a lot of stuff to do to get ready for move-in day in Madison. Hopefully it all comes together soon. I'm hella' pumped to go back down. I've had enough of summer jobs and early mornings. I'm ready for college, round 2.

See, a pop goes "Pop!" but a snap's a "Snap!"

I'm sitting at my house watching (via ESPN gamecast) Manny Parra pitch ball after ball to the Cubs, and I figure it's a good time to write something.

I am exhausted because I have spent the past two days shoveling heavy, wet dirt and gravel at the Golf Course. As if the simple act of shoveling isn't tiring enough, I have to shovel the stuff out of a deep, narrow trench filled with mud and roots, using a very narrow shovel that doesn't hold anything. Then throw in the fact that I am doing this in the middle of the fairway, so I am constantly getting bombarded by golf balls (although with our crowd of golfers, the fairway is often the safest place), and you've got one high-stress, high-impact, high-intensity working environment. At least we get to see an occasional hilarious shot. Today a guy hit one onto Calumet Street and almost hit a truck before it bounced on to someone's porch. Another guy lined one right into a bench off the tee and the ball shot straight up incredibly high. We all covered our heads and ran for the nearest cover, since the sunlight made it impossible to see where the thing went. As it turned out, it barely made it up to the fairway, so we were pretty safe.

Just over 2 weeks until my lease starts in Madison. I can't wait to go back down there. It's nice getting a paycheck, but I miss college so much. I am going down to move most of my stuff in on the 15th, but then coming back the next week to finish working. It would be nice if I could stay in Madison and enjoy the summer, but at least I'll make a little more money.

This City Deserves a Better Class of Criminal

The Dark Knight deserves its own post, hands down. This movie was fantastic, save just a few little problems that kind of bugged me. But first, the positives, and there are many.

WARNING, MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

Above all else, the movie was phenomenally acted (apart from one person). I am extremely upset that Heath Ledger is dead, because if this movie was any indication, he had become an extremely talented and versatile actor. His character was flawless. His mannerisms (most notably licking his lips), his calm demeanor, his motivations, everything was done well. He took the humor of the Joker far beyond the superficial insane ranting featured in previous films (Sorry, Tommy Lee Jones.) and made it much more subtle and disturbing. Every single thing his character did fit in with his overarching plot, which, as he himself laid out, was really no plot at all. I absolutely loved his explanation to Eckhart (who I will get to in a moment) about being "a dog chasing a car." Telling Batman the locations of Harvey and Rachel in reverse was fantastically devious, and the failure of his "social experiment," was a wonderfully fitting way for him to eventually be "foiled." This character should go down in history as one of the most excellently portrayed villains ever.

Christian Bale has, I think, cemented himself as the most popular portrayer of Batman ever, and I fell he deserves it. Although his growling while in the Batman suit does become a little annoying, his motivation and interaction with other characters is very good. While this certainly has much to do with the writing and character itself, it wouldn't play well in just anyone's hands. Bale takes what he is given and makes everything he can of it.

Maggie Gyllenhall has always annoyed me, and this movie was unfortunately no exception. I'm not sure if I would have felt differently about the character if she was still acted by Katie Holmes, and I must give Gyllenhall credit for stepping into a role she did not originate. Still, I felt she was one of the weakest parts of the movie.

Now for the most important actor, in my opinion. I fear that Aaron Eckhart will go down as the most under appreciated and underrated actor in the movie. His portrayal of Harvey Dent was phenomenal. He took a character that could have easily fallen into mediocrity by being played as a mere plot device, a character who is used by everyone else for their own means without any intrinsic reaction, and he made him stand on his own feet. Eckhart's character was passionate, smart, and had plenty of depth to survive being sucked down by how much happened to him. Eckhart played confusion with as much skill as excitement, captured the urgency of his situation, and avoided being defined merely by his relation with a handful of other characters. Eckhart's character was a make-or-break one, and he definitely made it.

Beyond the acting, the film was spectacularly shot, with the scale and effects reflecting the mood of the movie from start to finish. One of the biggest failings of Batman Begins (which was also a very well made movie) was how dark it was all the time! The contrast played much better in Dark Knight.

Finally, I just want to mention a few more little allusions, metaphors, and other nuances that I really liked:

1. Morgan Freeman's description of the Joker as a guy who just wants to "watch the world burn," followed by the Joker's burning all the money he received from the mob.
2. The metaphor of Harvey Dent's coin and the role it played with his character. Before his transformation into Two-Face, it showed his incorruptibility and control. After the accident, it was a constant reminder of what had been and what actually caused Dent's change. The burned side of the coin also made me think of what was underneath the disgusting exterior.
3. The Joker giving characters different stories about his scars. Very creepy, very cool.

I could probably go on for a while more, but I'd be surprised if people even got this far in the post, so I'll end with a single recommendation: See this movie.

Spaulding, get your foot off the boat!

I finally saw Caddyshack, and was largely unimpressed. I felt the same about it as I did about Animal House. It didn't seem like anything significant happened, the stuff that did happen seemed completely unmotivated, and pretty much everyone seemed disinterested in what was going on. Bill Murray completely saves the movie, if it is saved at all. Although I guess Chevy Chase was pretty funny too. Rodney Dangerfield was mostly just confusing and annoying.

On the other hand, I downloaded a couple albums by Coheed & Cambria, which I was very pleased with. The only song I knew before was "Welcome Home," which is a damn rocking song. I remember trying to sing it in Rock Band at college, which was quite the adventure. It's still probably my favorite song of theirs, but the albums are definitely worth having, especially for free.

Tomorrow I'm going to Green Bay to see Courtney again!

Bugs!

What the fuck went wrong when nature came up with bugs? Particularly gnats, flies, and mosquitoes. Almost every other creature on the planet is terrified of humans, and run away if we even move in their direction. But bugs? No! They just swarm around your face and ears for the hell of it. I don't care if you are standing in the middle of a giant field, the bugs will find you and will continuously buzz in your ears and eyes, as if saying, "Hey! Who are you? What are you? Why are you here? Hey! Hey! Yeah, you! Listen to me! Look at me! What are those circles on your face? Can I touch them? Are you listening to me? Hey! Hey!" No amount of swatting or water splashing will discourage them. God damn these fearless, curious insects.

Public Idiocy

I read the letters to the editor in the Post-Crescent pretty much every day during my lunch break at work, and I am continually amazed at the childish and ignorant rantings of the adult population of the Fox Valley. It is all to clear that these people merely want to see their names in print, and don't actually put significant thought into what they say. Either that, or they just want to stir up controversy and be able to brag about it later. In either case, its pathetic. Recently, one string of letters has really bewildered me. I am writing my own letter to the editor in response. In case it doesn't get published (which I expect will be the case), here is what it says:

I have been reading the series of letters and calls published over the last week in response to Merv Farmer's June 17th "It's Your Call." While I must admit that I am relieved to see that few people share his opinions on the current presidential candidates, I am amazed by the hostility many people expressed toward a free and open exchange of ideas. The berating of the Post-Crescent editorial staff for "exposing his bigotry via publication (Letters, June 27th)" is nothing more than a condemnation of the PC's efforts to remain an unrestrictive voice of its readers. What gives one the right to declare an opinion unfit for publication and discussion? The instant we begin to associate the mere discussion of ideas with endorsement, the ability of the public to engage in a healthy and constructive dialog evaporates. No debate can be "meaningful" if one side is muffled. We the People should not be so eager to silence views that conflict with our own, nor should we condone any such action that takes place, be it public or private. If we do, then our Rights are reduced to nothing more than fancy script on tattered paper.

One of those Prehistoric Surgical Procedures

There are two types of people in this world: those who get their hands wet before they put soap on them, and those who soap up before they even get their hands wet.

I finally got to go up to my cottage last weekend. In fact, I went up two separate times over the weekend. On Friday morning I rode up with my grandparents, and then Courtney came up to visit later that evening. It was great finally being able to see her again. We only stayed until Saturday afternoon, though, since my grandparents and I both needed to be home later that day. I went to a graduation party and played quite a bit of volleyball, as did Clay. I can still vividly picture him screaming, "Christ be with me!" when the ball came hurtling in his direction at one point.

So then Sunday morning my parents and I went back to the cottage, and stayed over until Monday. I had been trying to get in touch with Dombrock about meeting up with us there, but never did, so I wasn't sure what was going to happen with that. It wound up not mattering, as he showed up Monday afternoon with a few friends anyway. That gave way to some harrowing (and mildly illegal) tubing, beginning with Dombrock breaking the tow rope off of one of the tubes (the red one, with the handles that had mostly disintegrated), and ending with the most epic tube switch maneuver in recent history. Dombrock got whipped into my tube, causing his to flip sideways. As he fell, he managed to grab on to the back of my tube. Slowly he pulled himself up so that we were on the same tube. His tube had flipped upside down, so the next time we got whipped over next to it, I flipped it back right-side up. At this point, I managed to slide out from underneath Kevin on to the other tube. All this took place while being whipped around behind a boat in surprisingly rough water (we had the lake to ourselves).

Andy

You are a wuss.

There's bitches by it, they're all up on it.

Talk about weather. My weekend in Madison and Milwaukee was pretty much dominated by any number of Tornado warnings, flash flood warnings, severe thunderstorms, damaging winds, and the whole deal.

I went down to Madison on Saturday to get together with a couple friends from school before I had to meet up with the few 'Hatters that were coming to our gig in New Glarus (singing for Moldy's Grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary). I got down there at about 1:00, and it was sunny and extremely hot. Went and checked out my friend's apartment before he had to work, then met another guy for lunch at the Union. As it turned out, we would end up spending most of our time in the Union. The tornado warnings started kicking in around 2:30 or 3:00, and every time we went outside we were forced back in either by pouring rain or official people telling us to take shelter. By the time I met up with the 'Hatters at 5:00, it was pouring. We headed down to New Glarus and did our 6-man gig, for which I was stand-in VP. It was a bit rough, to say the least. After the gig, we went back to our Hotel. We had been bought 4 rooms under the impression that the majority of the group would be there. Instead, we had 4 rooms to split among 6 people, and we didn't even use one of them. At least we scored a sweet complimentary breakfast this morning. Made to order omelettes, mini pancakes, pastry things, general Swiss deliciousness.

So we left the Hotel and most everybody headed back to Madison while I made my way to Milwaukee to get together with Andy and Nate. It wasn't raining on the way there, but apparently the majority of the Milwaukee area was flooded pretty bad last night. Andy and I went to Kopps for a lunch of a gigantic double cheeseburger and fries. Then, of course, there was Smash to be had. And a couple hours of later, it's time for me to head home. No sooner did I get out of Milwaukee but the highway traffic is going 40 miles and hour because the water is coming down in sheets and running down the highway like a river. That continued for about half an hour, and then the rest of the trip was just rain and lots of lightning.

Talk about weather.

Above the City in the Rain Cloud

I can't believe I am already neglecting this thing after having it for about a month. It's not like I have that much to do right now. I'm just working a lot. But anytime I'm sitting around and think, "I should write a new post," I think of something else to do, or I just choose not to. I'll try to keep up a little better from now on.

I think I am finally getting over my allergies. The last five weeks have been absolutely miserable as far as my health goes. I was using at least 5 different kinds of medication daily, and nothing seemed to help. The only thing that finally made it a little better was when we got some rain to knock the pollen down a bit. Anyway, I can finally breathe through my nose again. Up until two days ago, the only thing I had really smelled in five weeks was what I think was a natural gas leak at the maintenance building at Reid. So that was nice.

No matter where I look, I can't seem to find copy of the studio version of "The Lime Tree" by Trevor Hall to download. Every single instance I can find of it on the internet is hosted as a Windows Media Playlist, rather than an actual MP3 file. I suppose I shouldn't be complaining, since I'm essentially just trying to steal it. Anyway, the only version I have is live, which is alright, but it doesn't have any of the bongos, chimes, background lead guitar parts, or background vocals. Without those things, the song is still pretty good, but with them? Its fucking unbelievable! The song stays mellow throughout, but still manages to throw a number of different musical lines at you at once. Most importantly, it has one of the best vocal jam sessions I have ever heard outside of a Dave Matthews Band song. Hall has a very unique voice, but it sounds fantastic when he jumps the octave in this song.

Tomorrow I get to go to this sweet event up at Lambeau Field. Apparently almost all the UW athletic coaches gather for a big "meet & greet," and you can just go right up and talk to them, get their autographs, pictures, the works. Its not like a panel thing, where they just sit up in front of a crowd. They just wander around in the Lambeau Field Atrium. Anyways, I'm pretty pumped for that. I think I'm gonna take a UW pennant or something for all of them to sign.

My weekend schedule for week didn't work out the way I originally planned, so I don't think I'm gonna be able to go up north with the rest of my friends from Madison when they go up in two weeks. It's the weekend of the city tournament, and I doubt my boss wants me to ask off over that weekend, since it would only leave the newbies to do everything by themselves, which is just asking for trouble when you're dealing with a bunch of arrogant golfers who want to act like its the damn PGA Tour.

The nice thing about my weekend schedule work out this way, though, is that I think I am off over the 4th of July weekend, so I can actually go to my cottage and celebrate that this year. I am a little upset I have been home for about three weeks and still have not gone up north once. Freakin' golf course.

Anyway, I gotta go make a lunch for tomorrow before I go to bed. That's right, I go to bed at 9 o'clock most nights. You would too if you woke up at quarter after 5 to go to work in the burning sun lifting heavy objects all day. I just want to make it to this weekend so I can go down to New Glarus for a summer 'Hatters gig. I don't want to go the entire summer without getting together with the group.

Peace.

Alice Cooper Said It Best

One year down.

I am officially done with my first year at the University of Wisconsin - Madison. Finals week wasn't too bad, other than the fact that my Biology final more or less worked me. The test turned out to be almost entirely focused on the biodiversity unit of the class, with the majority of the questions requiring nothing more than memorization of large amounts of information about nearly every group of organisms on the planet. Never mind that the professor had stated two days earlier that the test was largely "big-picture" oriented, or that the test summary indicated a large portion would come from the previous units of the course. Whatever. I suppose I should have known that memorization would play a big role. Still, despite this mild disaster, the week was relatively painless. Really I'm just glad that it is done. That is, I'm glad finals are done. Thats not the case for the school year in general. It was without a doubt one of, if not the, most fun years of my entire life. For the first time ever, I can honestly say that I can't wait for summer to be over.

So now I have to find ways to entertain myself back here in good old A-Town. Of course the first thing I did was go out and buy a wireless router for our house so I can get on the internet all the time, rather than having to hope I can pick up a signal from down the street that isn't protected. I also rented a couple movies that I had been wanting to see. Cloverfield and I Am Legend. Cloverfield was actually pretty sweet. I didn't really know what to expect out of it, but I figured it would be entertaining, at the very least, seeing as J.J. Abrams produced it. I never actually expected it to be a plain-and-simple monster movie. As it turns out, that is exactly what it was made to be, kind of an homage to the classic Godzilla movies in Japan. As for I Am Legend, it was alright, but 28 Days Later was superior in most ways. Will Smith was undeniably bad-ass, though, and I actually liked the plot being comprised mostly of just his daily routine.

Work starts Tuesday, back at the golf course. Awesome. At least it sounds like one of my co-workers from last year is coming back too, so I won't have to teach the noobs how to do everything myself. Which is good, seeing as I don't actually know how to do everything.

I'm tired. Peace.

The Best Jam Sessions Happen At Midnight

Quiet Hours in the dorms have officially begun. Starting at midnight, the dorms are under full time quiet hours, save for a couple courtesy hours around lunch and dinner. To commemorate the occasion, there was a jam session in the hallway, which pretty much consisted of Tim shredding some mad licks on his ax. Before it finished, though (since it was about 20 minutes long), I joined in to provide the rhythm guitar part of Free Bird, over which Tim rocked the solo. The people on my floor have really put me to shame, as far as guitar skills are concerned. I'm no slouch on a guitar, but these kids legitimately rock. At least a couple of people were upset about the jam session, of course. I suppose that's kind of understandable, but there are plenty of times when those same people are extremely loud early in the morning, usually singing themselves praise over last night's drunken escapades.

So today was officially the last day of classes for the semester, and year for that matter. All that is left of my freshman year of college is finals, which I am admittedly a little nervous about. They fall fairly early in the week (Sunday and Tuesday), and so I don't exactly have a ton of time to prepare. Despite the fact that college is naturally far beyond anything I did in High School, I don't feel overly freaked out about these tests. I think that just goes to show how completely inept the High School system is at preparing kids for college. There is such a huge gap, it's like training an astronaut by having him jump on a trampoline. Even most of the AP classes I took in high school didn't make any sort of noticeable difference, other than require more work of the same level.

The whole thing makes me think of one story I heard about my old school district. Apparently there were too many students with 4.0 grade point averages, and the district felt that it needed to do something to bring this number down (a thought that is not as evil as it sounds). The problem is, instead of enriching the curriculum of existing classes, or offering more advanced classes (which the students in question would take if given the opportunity), they nerfed the grading scheme. Previously, an A of any kind, from A+ to A-, had been a 4.0. The change dropped the GPA of an A- down to 3.67. Here are the issues I take with this:

• A grade of A- carries a penalty in GPA, but a grade of A+ carries no benefit.
• An A- implies a proficiency of between 90 and 93 percent in a given subject, and this is reflected in the 3.67 GPA, roughly 91.5% of the highest possible 4.0 GPA. HOWEVER, the large down-scaling from class percentage to GPA (something that always occurs when applying percentages to vastly different totals) is not compensated for in the policies of most higher education institutions. I'm not sure about every university in the world, but I know almost all of the most respected institutions don't even consider applicants with GPAs below 3.7.

The whole situation seems rather contrived, as if the policy was put in place without any actual consideration of how it fits into the educational system as a whole. When a student with an A- average (mind you, this means that if you give him 100 questions, he will typically answer at least 90 of them correctly) is compared to a kid with a 4.0, the difference appears much larger than it actually is (I don't mean to discredit those students who do actually achieve 4.0 GPAs, as this is a great accomplishment that should be rewarded.). Factoring in any system that uses weighted grades (that is, a system that rewards AP or honors classes with a 5.0 grading scale) further decreases the value of a 3.67 GPA.

All this being said, I must admit that I am writing in my blog right now, when I should probably be studying for my chemistry and biology exams. I suppose I should get to that.

More like Master Gay...

The past couple of weeks have been - to put it simply - crazy awesome. Hatters had our last couple gigs of the semester, which actually kind of sucks. I will miss the other guys over the summer, though I hope I will be able to make it to at least a couple of the summer gigs. Still, it's nice to have a lot more time. Frankly, I can use it, seeing as I am actually doing some amount of studying for my finals next week. We had our end of the year dinner at Prime Quarter tonight, which was, of course, delicious. Nothing like a giant Top Sirloin steak, a bunch of garlic butter toast, and a baked potato to fill a man up right.

Its finally starting to resemble summer with some consistency. It has been warm the past couple of days, there have been thunderstorms occasionally, and the sun is finally shining for the majority of the day. As a result, there has been a large increase in Frisbee playing, which is always a good thing. We also played a couple of games of volleyball, which should happen much more often. I had forgotten how much I love playing volleyball, especially on a nice sand court with line markers. When we finished we went and jumped into Lake Mendota. It was quite cold, but afterwards felt awesome.

While I'm thinking about it, Moldy sent the Hatters one of the most kick-ass pictures I have ever seen. Here it is. If you can read Spanish (I think?), then maybe you can actually figure out what the story behind the picture is. I have no idea.

This thing runs on coal!

I went home this weekend to see the spring show at my High School. They changed things up this year and did two musicals instead of a straight play in the spring. The show they chose for this spring was "Little Shop of Horrors." For those who aren't familiar with it, it's about a guy who works in a plant shop downtown in this down-trodden city. One day he finds a "strange and interesting" plant and buys it for the shop. As it turns out, the plant requires a special kind of food. Namely blood. It grows really big, and eventually starts talking and making demands. And therein lies the rub. The show was quite good, and the guy who did the voice of the plant was awesome. A couple of the guys actually stuck my name in at one point, which they got yelled at for, even though we always do it to alumni when they come back. I can guarantee that nobody noticed except for those people who had been involved in theater in the past. I was kind of surprised as to how few other alumni I saw at the show, but I figured they were coming other nights, and I know the spring show never draws people like the fall musical does.

I also watched Saturday Night Live for the first time in months, and was glad I did, because I saw two of the funniest sketches I have seen on that show in a long time. Christopher Walken hosted, and the first of the two sketches was titled: "Indoor Gardening Tips from a Man who is Very Scared of Plants." The entire sketch was him showing how he had glued "googly-eyes" to all of his plants. He said that he felt much more comfortable around them if he could look them in the eyes, like people. He kept saying, "I know where I stand with this plant." He put these giant eyes on a palm tree, and just sprinkled a bunch of eyes on a patch of grass, which he didn't like. The second sketch was a parody of Top Chef, in which the contestants had to make a Chicago-style Deep Dish Pizza using only certain ingredients, which were naturally ridiculous. 3 of the contestants immediately went to work and started cooking stuff, but Walken just sounded confused and complained about all the limitation of the show: the time limit, the need to share materials, the strange ingredients. By the end everyone else had cooked some crazy looking crap, but Walken didn't have anything. He was just really flustered.

Other than that stuff, the weekend was really pretty boring. Not much else to say. Other than, that is, the explanation of the title of this post, which I thought was pretty funny. I think it was two years ago, my family took a trip over to Michigan to go camping up in Sleeping Bear Dunes. We took the car ferry across Lake Michigan. While my Dad was in line to get tickets, the guy in front of him was talking to the girl working the office. She said that he needed to pay a fuel surcharge because of the high gas prices, to which the guy replied, "Gas prices!? This thing burns coal!" I thought that was funny. Maybe it was just me. Maybe you had to be there.

Some Mother****** Always Trying to Ice Skate Uphill

In my opinion, the coolest thing that ever happens to any superhero is when they are brought to the brink of death and something happens that makes them come back to completely full strength, and often times far beyond their original strength. I say this because I just watched Blade, and there is that whole ending sequence where Blade gets bled to summon the blood god and what-not, and then drinks the blood of that doctor chick and proceeds to kick vampire ass for the rest of the movie, most notably by roundhouse kicking the vial of vampire-exploding serum into Deacon Frost's forehead.

We just finished up our unit on Der Besuch der Alten Dame in my German class, and it was definitely a pretty sweet book. Quick summary of the plot: There's this town, Güllen, that is totally shot. Bankrupt, run-down, forgotten, pretty much gone straight to Hell. So this crazy old bitch shows up and promises to give the town a billion dollars. Yes, literally a billion dollars (I say dollars here, although the unit of currency is never actually given). The catch? The town has to present her with the dead body of her former lover, Alfred Ill. Chaos ensues.

The thing is, Der Besuch (which is actually a stageplay) resembles a black comedy more than anything else I can think of. It's not your typical black comedy, though, because I never actually found myself laughing out loud while reading it. Friedrich Dürrenmatt, the author, describes the show as a "tragic comedy," even though the storyline doesn't contain many of the hallmarks of a comedy at all. What it does contain are many features of a tragedy. For starters, the main character DIES at the end (sorry if you wanted to read it for yourself). Now, I've seen some black comedies in which the main character dies, but again, these are typically shows or movies where I am laughing almost continuously throughout. Not only does the main character die, but nobody else is really happy at all by the end. The townspeople get all the money they were promised, but they all kind of simultaneously realize that they gave up everything that made them human for comfort and wealth. For a town that is obsessed with "moral right" throughout the entire show, they are remarkably willing to set aside any semblance of morals when it promises to better their lives. Perhaps what is even more notable about the behavior of the townspeople is that, initially, they don't actively pursue the murder of Ill. What they do is completely alter their lifestyles, as if they are sure that they will soon come into a ton of money from some unstated source. They start buying things (every single character buys a new pair of shoes!) on credit that they could never normally afford. Not only that, they buy the stuff from Ill's own store! They basically adopt new lives, assuming that Ill will soon be dead! This could be seen as a sort of acceptance that Ill is essentially doomed to die, but there is a clear level of hostility in their actions that makes it seem more like a kind of passive aggression. In actuality, though, it doesn't matter which it is. The city is enabling the murder of this man in either case! The only character who stands up for Ill through most of the story eventually gets driven to alcoholism by his realization that he is powerless to stop the death of the man. Even Claire Zachanassian, the woman who offers the money in the first place, is largely unsatisfied with the end result. She leaves the city and returns to her home in Algeria, a billion dollars poorer and with little to show for but the dead body of her former lover, a man who had reformed long ago and had become one of the most respected members of the town. Of course, this may have been what motivated Claire's offer in the first place.

Once again, I find it is after midnight and I have class tomorrow. A quick summary of the big events of my weekend:

1. MadHatters Formal, complete with Party Bus and dance party at UNO's
2. No Hangover, which was nice
3. 750 word German paper resembling what I talked about above, cranked out in 5 hours.
4. CentSports balance holding at $1.16 after a relatively rough weekend

Peace

First Inaugural Address

The first thing I notice on this page is the example labels for each post. The first one is "scooters." Really? Scooters? Are the labels based off the kind of web traffic they get? Top search scooters, next highest turtlenecks, and so on. I suppose there could be a lot of people writing about scooters. I mean, they're great, don't get me wrong. Good mileage, the exhilaration of seeing the road flying past below you, breakneck speeds of 40 mph. I have a moped, and it has treated me well. My point is, I can't imagine anybody thinking they need to go and consult a blog or two because they want to know of others' opinions on scooters. It is, of course, entirely possible that I am wrong about the whole thing. Maybe it's a marketing ploy. Yeah, that's probably it. It's all about advertising on these sites. Needless to say, I will be tagging this post with "scooters."

As far as blogs go, I'm not sure what this one is going to turn out as. It mostly just started as an impulse, as something to do on the internet when every other site seems old or stagnant. Plus it is admittedly nice to be able to write in a casual, vernacular format like this. At the same time, I'm not sure what I hope to accomplish by doing it. I could just as easily keep a private diary in some ragged notebook, but the stigma that carries isn't something I want to have, even if it is a ridiculous distinction between private, internal contemplation of your thoughts and putting them down on paper. Personally, writing something down and reading it back seems more concrete, more distinct than just staring at the ceiling and thinking about it. Written communication must have some sort of allure, because this blog scene has absolutely exploded since its first appearance. It seems that people have a craving for self expression of any kind, which is actually comforting in a way.

I suppose the best way to start this damn thing is with a personal statement of some kind. So what I'm gonna lay out is my explanation of how damn sweet my life actually is, when I think about it. Here's what life consists of for me, right now:

1. School, with a manageable amount of homework and even more manageable amount of studying, most of which concerns topics I am fully interested in.
   
2. Madhatters, one of the most fun groups I have ever been a part of, where me and a bunch of my friends get together and sing for pretty girls, and occasionally become inebriated.
3. Frisbee, often of the glow-in-the-dark variety
4. Video Games, more often than not Bedtime Smash
5. Watching, discussing, speculating about, and attempting to win money off of sports
   

Everything else is just mixed in when I can find the time. So really, what can I complain about? I have a German paper due Monday, which I haven't started yet. So what? No matter what, I will end up writing the whole thing in 3-4 hours on Sunday, and most of the actual writing will take place in some small time frame when the sentences start flowing well and I key in on the specifics I want to actually talk about. That's the hardest part of writing in another language. It becomes so fractured because of all the gaps in my vocabulary. It's funny, I can imagine it's like being a little kid again. I know just what I want to say, but I just can't seem to say it.

So what else? I have never even really read one of these things before, so I'm not sure what common practice is. Of course, then I'd just being using the thoughts and expressions of someone else as a template. This might have its merits, since we're all presumably looking for the same thing in writings these things. I suppose I can't expect the mere fact that I started some web-based public diary to start my mind off in some profound direction previously unexplored. I can hope, I suppose, that just writing this stuff down will spark something along these lines, and some great life truth will be revealed to me in my own words. I think that was supposed to be the point of those assignments I had in high school, when we were instructed to just write without stopping for 10 or 15 minutes. I'm betting I wasn't the only one who found that to be difficult. But then, I think that's to be expected. The mind is so disjointed, so non-linear, that continuous writing about some arbitrary topic would be constantly interrupted by wandering lines of thought. In fact, I would occasionally try to follow the instructions without compromise by literally writing straight through for the entire time. There would invariably be certain words just repeated over and over for a line or two when I blanked, but it was undeniably amusing to look back later and be stumped by the complete lack of logical connections between topics on the page. Sometimes one would last for a half a page, sometimes they would just be single sentences, exclamations of some idea that popped into my head because linear thought was proving too exclusive, too narrow for a person who experiences pressures and influences from hundreds of different avenues every day. Like just now, I find myself thinking that I'm definitely getting away from the day-by-day structure I expected to find myself constructing.

It's 1:04 am, and my sleep schedule has been messed up enough already this week. Not to mention that this first post has surely gone far beyond the accepted length restriction for an independent personal blog. So I think a fitting conclusion would be: too long, didn't read.